A good read on Node vs Java https://rclayton.silvrback.com/speaking-intelligently-about-java-vs-node-performance. Explains about the way Java and Node code will work to handle load.
My personal opinion is that programming language is just a tool to deliver the final solution. Only in specialized cases, where we know that a particular language has proven history of solving similar kind of problems, hence has sample code, libraries, knowledge base, forums to help, we should consider that as part of solution. Otherwise non-technical reasons like client preferences, team’e expertise will come into picture.